Friendships Fading

Question: Old friends seem to be fading from my life. Nothing has gone wrong but their attitude must be I am not valued otherwise they would get in contact. It’s hurtful and a loss. What can I do?

Munjiji: My friend you need to look at each situation. Are there similarities? If there is a pattern then this needs examination.

From what you say this looks like a natural ebb and flow of people who come into your life for a time and then move out.

We’ve said many times, these are years of fire and the truth is being exposed. Now this need not be dramatic, but it can simply be that some friendships have run their course for whatever reason. These years of fire are changing the lives of your friends and this has an impact on all their friendships and relating, not only to you.

You are looking at this from one side, that they have moved on and left you behind, but consider that you too have moved on, although you do not realise it this moment.

You cannot change the nature of evolution. Think back, there are many friends who were once dear to you who are now only a pleasant memory. You can accept that your lives went in different directions.

Of course some people, more than others, hold some significance for you. This could be because there is a karmic aspect.

Maybe a friend is very kind to you for a while and then withdraws. Other times the friendship is full of little ‘bumps’ shall we say. When you work through these bumps maybe the friendship continues, but it might fade. Once you have balanced the karma between you there is not then the karmic need to have the friendship. So maybe a friend who was helpful was balancing something between you from a past life.

When friends cause you pain there is a little gift in that, but you have to look for it.

Your lost friends are showing you how attached you are to the form of the relating without considering if it was nurturing for them. You are only thinking of yourself and this attitude causes the pain.

You cannot change other people but you can change yourself. You cannot change the outward form but you can transform your inner landscape. It’s all about how you handle the situation so that you grow in wisdom and understanding. If you apply that to your friends then you are free. Actually you are both free because at the subtle level they can sense your attachment, even if they are not conscious of it. They will instinctively react by taking a distance from you. Maybe in time they might come back into your life and then you can relate from a clearer place that has no need.

In the meantime let go of any resentment. Surrender the friendship to the highest in yourself and give thanks for that time. Do not cling to old forms. As you polish your light through this experience you will then attract other lights into your life and you will be more and more illumined.