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Leaving a Relationship

March 22, 2013

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Relationships are always about obtaining a balance within the polarities of the relationship. Observing this balance will tell you how to proceed in the unfoldment of your relationship together, what things you are looking at and what you are not looking at. The relationship is weighed on the scales of truth.

There comes a time when as a couple you have to look at how things are unfolding and whether this is likely to produce the relationship you wish to have in the future. You have to look at what this marriage is progressing towards and you ask for help that is most illuminating for both of you.

It is no good looking at these things unless you also have in you the will to be decisive. If you’re not ready for decisions do not even begin to do that. You have to have the strength to create the relationship that you are imagining.

Do You Wish to Create a Revolution in Your Life?

If you feel your present relationship is rather generic in the sense of love and at the same time you do not have the strength to change anything there is actually nothing wrong in accepting your present situation. You really are free to accept a situation which is not quite to your liking but nevertheless brings you enough fulfilment that you do not wish to create a revolution in your life.

Truthfulness is needed to progress and if you have a enough honesty to say I cannot face the truth then you have to stay as you are. In this particular time it is really an opportunity to wake up to the truth of who you really are. We have said before that these are years of fire and this fire burns the dross to reveal the truth about you and your situation.

Look at Your Original Choices

Now this may say sound rather radical but it’s not about improving your relationship. Of course a lot of little things you can improve, but these are all surface management of the situation. Originally you made certain choices that are deep inside and this is what you have to look at. What is it that I’m really standing for? When you come to a place of less compromise with yourself that is the beginning of the healing of a relationship which can include it’s finishing. More compromise means more confusion. We are not talking about breaking up relationships when we say less compromise we are talking about the truth that you tell yourself. When you are in a relationship your truth and your partner’s truth are different yet you inhabit the same space. Do not fall into the trap of expecting perfection from your relationship. Relating is not about losing your own inner compass so that you do not know who you are. Souls can be lost in this type of interaction and it can take quite a while until they wake to their own light.

Dream not Based on Truth

It can take many incarnations before you overcome the pull of another’s presence and finally identify with your own light instead of someone else’s. If you are lost in a relationship then you are losing some of your light and you don’t know how to recognise that and that’s when it is dangerous.

The emotions are often a response to the mind having a dream about a relationship that is not based on truth.

Ask these questions of your self about the relationship:

1) what is it that our relationship needs right now as a unit?

2) what do I need as an individual?

3) what does my partner need as an individual?

(The individual needs its own expression and expansion)

4) if you were not in this relationship where would you be: physically, emotionally and spiritually?

The reason why we are asking question (4) is it is good to imagine yourself and then to compare that with where you actually are. By doing this you can then tell yourself the truth about the situation.

These questions require tremendous honesty. Do not be scared of the answers.

Of course whatever decision you make in a relationship can produce a conflict in you or your partner or in both. So this is not a way to measure it.

Sometimes you have to walk into a conflict because there is no other way. But a betrayal of hearts direction that is different so stay close to your truth. Ask your heart that question and see how you feel with the answer that you gave and if you feel relaxed then that is producing an opening in you so that you can go forward. There will be instances when it is clear that to leave is the only way to find balance and sanity.

If you are now beginning to have a better understanding of your nature and then go against that as we have said before these are years of fire and the truth will emerge. Right now it is better to look at what is truthful rather than bending toward what is not truthful.

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